I.J. Kalia on Men's Corner

Marriage in Nigeria is now a big franchise, it’s more likely to a building project. Young men are afraid to get married all because of the inane cost. Now, marriage is in steps, just like a building project.   First, you’ll dig the foundation, you’ll rest; after another six months you’ll come back and lay the blocks, then rest again, come back for the lintel , roofing and then do the finishes.            I doubt if there is ever a ‘finishing’ in Nigerian marriage. Other developed countries work fine with either the court wedding, or the church. Back in the days of my elementary school, I was taught kinds of marriage in social studies. If I could recall, I know we have court, church and traditional marriage. But I think the social studies text book should be reviewed, because nowadays, we do all, plus extra...all in one.           I got to learn about the extra when I began my own m...

A lot of men today, walk about like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode at the slightest provocation. This instills violence in their nature as they walk about with a heart heavy as a crane with no one to share the burden with. A lady might be going through a crisis and she will cry out; ask her why she's crying with a little perseverance and she'll tell you and that is it. Men on the other hand, live in perpetual denial. Even when a man is caught crying, he'd look you in the eyes and tell you he's not crying. A week ago, I wanted to get something at Wuse market, I saw a Taxi man with his head on his steering wheel and I thought maybe he was resting or sleeping. I knocked at the window, he raised his face and I saw his eyes. He was actually crying.   "Wuse market,” I was barely audible.   “250,” he replied without looking at me. He was struggling to clean his tears. I wanted to ask why he was crying but didn't know how to begin. He noticed by the wa...

These girls will not kill me. They annoy me to the soul. Most times, I wonder what happened to our mothers-kind-of girls. Virtually all the girls I see now come with a label; ‘FEMINIST’. I tried to be as liberal as I can possibly be to see reasons with them but only to get confused the more. The other day, a lady walked out on me on a date night just because I asked her view on feminism. I allowed her explain in peace o; but when I said my view on feminism, it became a problem. In fact judging by the looks I saw in her eyes plus the bottle of coca cola sitting before her, I was lucky to have left the lounge with my head bandage free. There is no name she didn’t call me that very night. Of all the avalanche of the names she called me that night, ‘Antifeminist’ and ‘typical African man’ stuck on my mind. But for peace to reign I humbled myself and composed a two page SMS I had to surf online for clues, bought flowers, packed my ego and begged.   If begging were to be a game in ...

An invisible balance sheet has been passed down to us from generations to generations on how we ought to live and measure standard of success as a man. A lot is going on in the minds of this fraction of human race that meets the eye. Being a man is not easy in this age. I tell you, it's quite easier to be a man few generations ago. Then a man is expected to provide a home, acquire a farmland and marry as many wives as he can. These wives in turn help cultivate his farmlands, raise his children, and a bowl of meal is expected to be ready for him when he comes home.   The men of olds live like lions in a pride. Their function is to defend the domain, have little or nothing to do with raising kids and kitchen. You’ll agree with me that, in today's world, the more wives a man takes, the nearer he gets to the grave. In most families today, women earns better than men. As a man, you literally, have nothing to show to a woman; talk about cars, money, house, education etc. most ...